I see lots of people on here use this platform to deliver really well fleshed out concepts or discussions. Maybe even to amplify their careers or become authors. I can’t really say that I’m doing any of that. Or that anything I will write will be groundbreaking or influential (who knows). But I can talk about my honest experience, in the hopes that maybe someone out here may find it useful.
I go to a very white school. The kind of white that means you can’t wear an afro without being bullied. The kind of white that means you can’t say the word black without it feeling like a slur. The kind of white that means you are shocked when you see a ‘new’ person of colour walking around. Now this isn’t to say that the school is bad or even particularly racist. But when you’re the only person that looks like you, you feel it. I’ve definitely felt it.
There’s a certain level of both hyper-visibility and invisibility that a black girl has in my school. You are always seen, always ostracised. Always the joke or the token. But you’re experiences are somehow never acknowledged? People do not see you’re race as a part of who you are. Rather a visible misfortune. Something that you shouldn’t say out loud. The best way to describe it is that you constantly feel like you are screaming for help, for someone to hear you and witness your identity without shame or judgement. All while trying to quieten the parts of you that are ‘too black’.
I guess this was my intention of writing this. To be witnessed. Maybe heard. Possibly understood.
Dear Black Girl,
I love you
Looking forward to reading more of your work! :)